Using and Choosing Lube — Fertility Awareness Project

I’m a fertility awareness educator and I teach people to chart their cycles for birth control, which means that sometimes I get to talk about sex. With fertility awareness, there are times in the cycle we can enjoy worry-free unprotected sex and others where we enjoy alternative sex or use barriers like condoms. People often ask me, ‘how do I improve my experience using condoms?’ and my answer is use to use lube!

why use lube?

If you’ve never used lube, and you’re like ‘I’m perfectly fine without it,’ don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.

Lubricant, or lube, improves all types of sex by reducing friction! Lube also reduces the risk of a condom breaking, thus improving the experience and efficacy of condom use.

There’s also no shame in needing to use lube. Just because you’re aroused doesn’t mean you’re necessarily wet or producing arousal fluid. This is called arousal non-concordance (read more in Emily Nagoski’s book Come as You Are). Meaning - some people experience a mismatch between their arousal and their production of arousal fluid and that is perfectly normal. You might find lube to be a great addition to your sexual experience. Now let’s get into

the 3 types of personal lubricant

Silicone Lube

Silicone based lube is long-lasting, safe for use with latex condoms, and needs to be reapplied less often. It feels slippery and silky smooth. One downside to silicone lube is that it is harder to wash off than water based lube, and can’t be used with silicone sex toys. If you enjoy bath or shower sex, it will stay in place and last longer in water than water-based lube, which just washes away.

Water Based Lube

Water based lube works well with latex condoms, washes off easily, doesn’t stain sheets. It’s slippery but not as long-lasting as silicone lube. If you find that the water based lube is drying out during use, add a little water to extend its slippery-ness.

Oil Based Lube or Oil

Oil (like straight-up coconut oil) and oil-based lubricants are all-purpose. Use them for sensual massage or for lubricant during penetrative sex. However the big downside to oil is that it doesn’t mix with latex products including condoms and diaphragms. This is because oil will break down the latex.

ingredients matter

No matter which lubricant you choose, take a look at the ingredient list and know what’s in your lube. Your vaginal canal is a mucus membrane and absorbs what you put into it. This is why it’s important to read the ingredient list of whichever lubricant you choose and opt for products that don’t contain parabens, phthalates, petroleum, propylene glycol, glycerin, Chlorhexidine gluconate or fragrance.

You may also want to look for a product that is within the normal vaginal pH level, which is around pH 3.8-4.5.